A Writer Talks Business

It’s really hard for me to write about myself. I’m almost always writing how-to posts, sharing tips and tricks about writing, and sharing what I know about other people and their cool resources. What is the hardest for me is to reveal a weakness, share a foible, admit a fault.

Well, this past year, I learned something very important about myself and that is that all of me is important to include in the party of life. All of me is invited to the party.

How does this relate to writing, blogging, writing books? You know I’m not really sure. I’m trying to write a post here, but I’m not sure what it’s really about because what I want to talk about is writing but also business. And maybe that’s the juice for me this year.

Because I started out 2009 really searching for a connection, a link, some guidance on artist entrepreneurships. I was asking myself and others how to bridge the gap between my creative side and my love of being an entrepreneur. These two parts of me had been at war with each other since I started my business full-time three and a half years ago.

At the end of 2008, I even started a blog and a Facebook group on the topic of artist entrepreneurship. I did a few interviews that I haven’t yet posted, and I felt pretty adamant about this topic. I felt that no one was talking about how to bridge this gap. The people I interviewed didn’t seem to have the answers. Maybe I was asking the wrong questions. The new year started with a roll, and I realized that I had to put that project aside and focus on my core business – which wasn’t doing too well.

So, in Spring 2009, I got a part time job tutoring low-income kids in an afterschool program, while still struggling to make sense of how to make my business work.

Whenever I have questions that I can’t answer, I’ve learned to do one important thing for me and that’s ask for help. I stepped up the pace in my networking and got my butt out the door.

At a networking event March 2009, I was introduced to a very intriguing proposition. Two speakers talked to us about negotiations, and basically rocked my world in the way they approached what was possible. Can you imagine assuming in a negotiation everyone is speaking the truth? I couldn’t. [That says something about my nature, doesn’t it? I have assumed that people have hidden nefarious agendas, that they are out to get me.]

So I signed up to go to these guys’ three-day seminar, even though I didn’t have the funds. I knew they had a good thing and I wanted it. Even though I didn’t quite know what IT was. I was also intrigued because one of these guys had been a touring musician and seemed to get what being an artist was all about. I was hooked.

That was twelve months ago. It’s now March 2010. Have I given birth to something? I’m not sure if that’s the right metaphor, because I still feel like what I’m creating is evolving – and what I’m creating is a sustainable business.

The hard truth of this year is that I’ve had to make a decision between being in business or being a creative. And being confronted with the ugly reality that these are two frames of mind that can’t both make me money.

On the one hand, I am sad that I can’t fly around just doing what I feel like doing, going where the winds blow, and doing things based on feeling. Which is what artists do. Which is lovely, beautiful and vital to that work.

On the other hand, I have a sustainable business doing what I love, and playing in the arena I enjoy, helping really cool people – authors!

What I learned the hard way is that business needs to trump art in my mind and heart. That having a sustainable business means looking at work and what I do through a different lens. Basically, where do I want to go? And am I taking steps, really taking actual steps to get there? And is what I’m doing right now in line to get me there? I notice I lose sight of this often because I love to be busy. I love getting sparked with ideas and connections and communications between people. Those activities are so fluid, creative, remarkable, genuine, fun. I’ve always had coded that business is fake, disingenuous, not that interesting, and boring.

Do I still feel that way? I see those old ideas of business pulling away from me. I see those ideas as separate from me, as I decide, and decide again, what I want for my business. And I have to say that as a creative, as a writer, that my power lies in using my writing to get clear about my business goals. When I’m not active in my writing, I feel half a person. Hence this post.

Thanks for listening.